Friday, July 10, 2009

Been playing WoW



I have been working on my new 4th account to get me my horde Death Knight.  I wish I could log in and wham have a level 55 or 60 so I can make my horde death knight.  I saw a guild yesterday on the horde side and I think I am going to try and join them.  It is called Horde...  Built Tough.
Anyways this is not leveling my little toon, 14 more levels to go wish me luck to get there by the end of this weekend.

Here is a few more pics of Myschief God I love Blood Death Knights !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

New Pics of some of my toons



Here is a few pics of my Death Knight Myschief and one of my baby toons Shyla.  Shyla is a warlock with a lot of charm.  I got me another account and so I made Shyla plan to level her to level 55 or 60 then make me a horde Death Knight.  

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Sick to Death of the flames

Game is down for maintenance so going to be a long boring day waiting for Lightbringer to come alive.  But it gives me a rest from running around the entire world clicking on the flames of alliance and horde.  And I have only done 4 of my toons doing this.  So today I am going to work on my book.

Picked the title to summit it with !   The Books of Ravencroft: The Secrets will be book one and the second will be The Books of Ravencroft: The Return.   Now I need to figure out where I will go with the third and final book of the series.  Guess I will worry about that down the road.   I was thinking maybe  The Books of Ravencroft: The New Beginning   that way if more books follow they can.  

Watch for me adding a tiny piece of the book here and hopefully get some inputs about it.  I am going to add a few different ones to my Myspace Blog from different chapters just to get some solid input before shipping it off to my agent / publisher.  I am nervous about whether they will like the direction of where I took the story.  When I started this I was thinking one book for the stories I was always making up for Sierra when she was sick or in the hospital or when we shared our time together, now it has totally snowballed into a three book series and I am totally stressing over it.  Not a good thing when stress is a big fact in my lupus.  So peace and harmony, Hummmmm Hummmmm forget the publisher think sweet Sierra and how she loved them.  Hey that might work.

Here is the link to my myspace should you want to keep check out the little spurts of my book.
http://www.myspace.com/dawnhatch


Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Been playing WoW and also working on my book

I have been working steadily on my second draft of my book, I am trying to decide what title to use, originally it was The Books of Ravencroft since it is suppose to be a 3 book series.  But how I even got started on these books was when my granddaughter was little I would make stories up for her when she was not feeling well or when she was in the hospital.  So now I am thinking since they were for her I might call them Sierra's Stories.  The first one is The Books of Ravencroft: The Secret, and I have already begun notes and a possible title for the second one which would be The Books of Ravencroft: The Return.  But I like Sierra's Stories: The Secret and Sierra's Stories: The Return.  I was thinking also of putting a small piece from the book on my myspace for friends and family to read.  

Now mind you this is a set of books meant for children and teens so they will be no rated XXX in this book, no nude scenes or naughty talk.  That can be my fourth book. LOL

I have been playing Myschief lately I had rerolled her as another DK and she is level 63. In one day I took her from 55 to 63 busting my butt on her.  Tomorrow I will take come screen shots of her and post them here.  She is more fun as a DK then a rogue. LOL

Anyways for those that are friends and family here if you have any input about my books and titles please let me know.  The story is basically about a little girl who has a serious illness and wishes she could be normal and live in her favorite book.  It is full of magic and make believe and how her older sister uses magic to go in the book to rescue her because the longer she is in two places at once the weaker she becomes and her young soul is dying.  The older sister is named Saige and the younger one is Willow, I really like their names because it goes with the story real nice.  So anyways let me know if you have any input, put a comment and I would love to hear what you have to say.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The joys of engineering



My level 74 Blood DK named Naughtybaby is my one and only engineer out of all my numerous toons.    I have been working on getting her, her epic flying machine and hopefully moving on to get her the chopper.  I about died laughing when I went to get her the hula girl needed for the epic flying machine, this silly little doll cost 100 gold.  So I took a deep breath and bought the expensive little lady and went about mining for the other items needed.    Here is a picture of her in her slow flying machine as she flies around Nagrand searching for the ore she needs.  The other was of her kneeling down on one of the pieces of the earth left floating in the sky.


Thursday, June 11, 2009

Finding new relatives

Two weeks ago I found a gentleman on myspace that lived in the same town as my mother's family.  He also happen to have the last name as my mother's youngest sister.  So I got brave and contacted him through email.  As it turned out my aunt was also his aunt by marriage and he was able through emails to put me in the right direction of finding my mother's little sister.  He had managed to get me a few old phone numbers. Sadly most of them did not work or were no longer in services.  But the last one I tried turned out to be my Aunt's oldest daughter Leila.  I left a message stating who I was and how I needed to get hold of her mom.  Last Saturday morning Leila returned my call, and we talked and remember things of when I was last there as a young child.  She then told me that she and her mom lived in Virginia Beach, I was like omg I met Lou there and got married there and lived right down the road from them in Norfolk.  She gave me My aunt's cell number and I with shaking hands called her.  Sadly she could only talk a few minutes because she was about to go into a meeting and she asked could she call me back that night.  When she called me back we talked for nearly two and half hours.  She was able to tell me more about my natural father and give me some clues how to possibly find him.  We laughed a lot together remembering my mother, learning things about my mom's family.  It was so wonderful talking to her because it brought back a memory of being safe and protected with her.  I told her this and she told me she always felt like she needed to protect me and shelter me from any pain tossed at me which made me for the first time in a long time like my family actually did love me and I was not some toss away. When we hung up we promised to keep in touch and not to disappear from one another again.  I finally after all these years feel like I belong, that I am part of a family.

 

Now the search begins for my father.  I do not know where this will lead too or if I will ever find him but just to know something about my past is now becoming exciting and I owe that to Joanne, my aunt.  This will help open doors to possibly find out the health history of my family something I did not know.  It will help with the treatment of my kidneys and lupus and maybe just maybe I will meet the man that is my father and the 3 or 4 possible sisters I have out there somewhere.  Suddenly it does not seem so scary anymore.  My aunt gave me the courage with along with my family and friends to look for my dad and now maybe it just might happen.

Monday, June 8, 2009

My New Little friend


I have managed to stay up all night playing WoW.  And I can hear you all saying why for heaven sakes.  Well give me a second and I will tell you.  I have been doing the rep grind, let me remind those that have not done this................. IT IS BORING AS HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But in the end it is worth all that long boring none ending rep gathering.   I hope you enjoy this picture and know this is my new little friend.  He is super fast and cool as hell =)

Monday, June 1, 2009

Not able to sleep

I just updated my blog on myspace and figured I would come over here as well.  Dealing with a great deal of pain right now and this is my form of pain management.  Do anything to take your mind off the pain that does not come in pill form.  I am not a big fan of taking pills.  

I was so happy with Blizzard yesterday, I was deleting some baby toons I was no longer playing and accidently delete my frost death knight with everything on her plus her gold.  I totally freaked out.  I quickly sent in a request for help and within an hour I got her back and all her things.  Thank you Blizzard.

I did the rep grind this weekend with Butterscotch, Ironforge this time, she now has the rams.  I am trying to get me the free drake flying mount.  Ten more mounts and the drake is mine.  For those that have no idea what a drake is, it is a cool looking dragon.  Exador is my next city of choice seeing it is my last.  Oh goody circus elephants.  That is what the mount looks like and if you ever rode behind one it looks like a fat lady bent over in hot pants, not a pretty sight let me tell you.

Yes I am rambling ................  Welcome to my pain management 

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I need some courage

I reopened my myspace and the other night I started typing in names of my natural mom's family and I hit pay dirt.  I found a nephew of my mom's younger sister by marriage.  He was sweet enough to email me back and last night I got a second email from him with some phone numbers of her and her daughters.  Now I just need the courage to call.  She is the sweet lady that told me all about my natural dad.  But it has been so many years since I have spoken to her I feel kinda weird just popping back into their life.

I have made a decision about my low dose chemo.  I will no longer be doing the infusions.  I have decided from research this is not my safest route to go for my kidneys.  I will be staying on the methotrexate but I am waiting on the research from Stem cells.  From what I have been sent by their foundation I stand a better chance with them then anything else.  So I am asking my family and friends to support Stem cell research simply because one day it could cure me.

I am in a flare right now but we are hoping it will not be a long one.  I have to be very careful with this swine flu thing, so as normal I can not risk being around people.  As for now even going to a doctor's visit is totally unsafe for me.  I am now off to bed, it has been a long day for me and I seem to get tired easier since I am in a flare.

Tomorrow I will be posting more pics of my baby toons and some of Lou's.  Lou is making a cool video with his Corpsman with music and everything.  Once he is done I will be posting it on my myspace so anytime someone wants to see it they can go there and watch it.

Take care, 
licks and nibbles, Dawn


Saturday, May 23, 2009

Ever feel like a mushroom?

That is how I am feeling lately.  Stick me in a dark closet and feed me shit.  This coming week I am going to contact my primary care doctor, I still have not heard from my rheumy about me canceling the infusions.  I understand he has been busy trying to get back into the swing of things after having been out of his office for 3 weeks but not even his staff has taken the time to return my calls.  This coming Tuesday it will be 2 weeks since I refused the infusion till I got some solid answers about my kidneys and whether or not the infusion is causing them to react badly.  I go between being sad because he has not called and angry because he has not called.  Then to add icing to the whole frigging cake my refill for my plaquenil was lowered with no explaining why.  For 10 years I have been on 240 mg twice a day and now suddenly I am on 200 mg twice a day.

I often feel myself beginning to freak out, I am dealing with this the best I can, sometimes I feel like I am dealing with it completely alone.  I look at my hands and see my fingers are beginning to twist with all the swelling and damage being done with the lupus and RA.  I have a life stealing illness that is happily attacking my kidneys and I feel like not a damn doctor cares, or at least the one I thought cared.  I feel like what life I have is passing me by.  With no immune system I sit around mainly by myself, oh and my three wonderful dogs (YIPPY)  to afraid that I can catch some germ and end up in the hospital at any given time.  I wonder how much damage with each passing day is being done to my kidneys while my doctor gets his office back into order and ignores my phone calls.

So I take a deep breath, and tell myself you got this far a little further is nothing.  So deep breath is taken.....  I have had my daily rant and now onto something fun.

I actually ran with the Elms tonight in game, a 25 man raid.  It was kinda cool, I got a nice dagger and shoulders for my hunter.  Course the shoulders I did not really want but they were sorta forced on me and low and behold the next boss dropped what I was so wanting, the pretty awesome chest piece I wanted.  Did I get it?  Hell no I got the crappy shoulders, which in turn closed me out for rolling on the chest piece so some whining jack ass got my chest piece.  Oh wait I am whining now.  The dagger is nice thank god I use a bow more since I am a hunter and my kitty normally keeps things off of me and out of my face.  So the dagger is in all actuality an accessories  they make my hips look nice.  

I am off to bed now, cya sometime this weekend.  Have a safe holiday weekend and drive safe.

licks and nibbles, Dawn

Friday, May 22, 2009

Added pics to Myspace




I been taking screen shots of my little toons.  I put them on my pics in myspace but I thought I would show them here also.   So the follow toons are Caress, Myschief and Naughtybaby.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

It is me again


It has been a few days since my last posting following my melt down.  

I still have not talked to my doctor about my infusion, I know he is busy since he just returned from being gone nearly 3 weeks and he has a lot of catching up to do.  Part of me is relieved he has not called and another part of me worries he does not have the answers about my kidneys and that frightens me.  I found myself searching for my natural mom's family again, I found possibly one of her brothers and a sister, but I have yet to act on it.  I know silly.  I just have no idea how to even start a conversation with them, hello this is Patricia's daughter I am not sure you remember me, I am the one she gave away, do you remember me now.

I have updated my myspace   www.myspace.com/dawnhatch   for those that want to check it out.

Been playing my little Death Knight in WoW the last few days, kinda enjoy the peace and quiet of being in a guild completely alone.  It is my guild for my little baby toons.  Funny thing is Naughtybaby is a level 72 almost 73 so she is hardly a baby.  Just sometimes I want to play without being pestered by stupid people.  And alone in my guild only I can pester myself.

I need to get some screenies of my other toons to add to my little photos here.

Take care

licks and nibbles, Dawn

P.S. off to work on my writing cya soon


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Melt Down

I had a total melt down today.  I refused my infusion.  It turned into a big ball of mess.  I could not sleep last night or today for that matter.  My nerves are shot.  All I can think about is how last June after my second infusion my kidneys took a nose dive and nobody could explain why or seemed to care.  That kept replaying in my mind and left me feeling uneasy about having another infusion done. 

I have been through the kidneys failing, I almost died.  And when my husband tried to explain to the nurse my concerns when she called to chew me out for canceling, she snapped at my husband told him I would still be paying for the time I wasted of hers and she slammed the phone down.  She did not want to hear anything, none of my concerns or worries.  All she kept saying was I wasted her time and I would be still charged.  

I have been on a emotional roller coaster lately with Sierra's health issues and my own and other things that seem to be all crashing in on me.  I just know I can not bring myself to look for my natural family because they knew I existed and they chose not to be part of my life and now suddenly out of the blue I am suppose to say hi remember me well I need your kidney.  It is just something I can not bring myself to do.

I just am afraid that one of the two new drugs is hurting my kidneys and could cause me to go back into kidney failure and this time I will not be so lucky.  And the infusion is the last drug just before they went back last summer I took.  All I wanted was someone to listen to me, I did not expect this nurse to be a rude (excuse me) Bitch like I was taking money out of her pocket.  Her whole attitude made me feel like I did not matter just paying her was all that mattered.

Now emotionally I find myself not able to trust this nurse and doctor, because if that is all I am to them then how do I know they have my best interest at heart.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I should be in bed

First I got Butterscotch her epic flying mount whoohoo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I should be in bed tomorrow is going to be a long day, I start my infusion tomorrow of low dose chemo.  Six to eight hours to sit there hooked up receiving the make me better juice. FUN FUN

But I am on edge and nervous and no one to talk too.  So I am watching Girls Next Door with Holly, Bridget and Kendra.  I tried playing more WoW but everyone knows tomorrow is my infusion and they are all asking questions about it and I did not want to get on vent to talk about it.  Too wired.  

So I will not be Twittering tomorrow or posting here until I get home and see how I feel.  Sometimes I feel ok sometimes I feel like crap.  Most the time the first couple of days I feel like crap.  But it is a crap worth getting into, hopefully soon these infusion will kick in and put me into a remission.  A girl can always hope.

Soon I will be posting more updated pics of my little WoW toons.  Been thinking about making a horde toon maybe actually get it pass level 5 lol sometimes the people on Lightbringer can be such ass munchers on the horde side.  I am thinking of making a horde orc female they are so sexy, curvy and kick ass.  Have to think of a name to go with my theme of names, Caress, Myschief, Kyss,Vyxsin, Sassybrat and Naughtybaby.  Butterscotch is special all by herself.

 al-righty  I am off to finish watching my show.  Catch you soon

Nibbles and Licks, Dawn

Another Mother's Day


It was another mother's day spent alone.  Funny you want to have kids, you bring them into the world, you hope to teach them right from wrong, the grow up stepping on your feet and leave home stepping on your heart.  Then mother day rolls around and they are off doing their thing.  Ungrateful little brats.

But this is cool now I can play WoW and have more fun.  I am so close to getting my little Butterscotch her epic flying mount.  Yeah yeah I know she has been level 80 how long..... Look my husband plays WoW also and he thinks my toons are his personal ATM.  He has his Epic flying mount, his fancy dragon. Go ahead ask who got it for him, why me of course !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The pic is of hubby's toon Corpsman on a netherdrake.

I want to welcome Gimpyknee to my friend's list.  We started chatting on Twitter and found out we both enjoy WoW.  He has a cool blog all about WoW so check it out I am sure he would not mind.  We need more twitters that like WoW also to join Twitter have our own little group of followers.  Massive WoW twitters.

Ok I am off to bed, it is actually like 3 am in the morning here, mother day is over with and it is actually Monday morning.  Yeah Yeah I know I am  always a day late and a dollar short.

Licks and Nibbles, Dawn

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Off to play WoW

I am off to play WoW ,  I am going to try and get more screenies of Butterscotch my little gnome mage, of Caress my sexy hunter and of Myschief my rogue.  If anyone would like to chat with me I am on Lightbringer and love making new friends.  I also need to play one of my Death Knights.  Sometimes I feel like WoW is my life..... oh wait it is.  I have 3 accounts to keep me entertained since I am home alone A LOT.    So I will catch you all later...  Have a wonderful Saturday !

Licks and Nibbles, Dawn

Happy Dance Day

Quick little post before I slip off to bed....  been playing WOW.  Shocker there I know.

Today Gentech called and gave me wonderful news.  The lady handling my case pushed me threw ahead of everyone and got me another year of them paying for my infusions.  So did the happy dance.

Ok off to bed cya later this afternoon.

Licks and Nibbles, Dawn

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Before I head to Bed new things

First) Sierra walked without her walker today.  She still has them just incase she is over doing it.  Her arm is even doing better.  I know it frustrate her when she tries to hold things but nothing is stopping this kid.

Second) I love Twittering, it is so much fun.  I actually have stars that are following me is that just amazing .  One is Sierra's very very favorite Miley from Hannah Montana.  I read all the up dates and laugh.  These people are a total riot.  So if you have never Twittered get with it, it will make you smile and laugh and it takes only a few seconds to post something.

Third) I received a wonderful phone call today.  My Infusions are back on.  So the 12th is a go day for me.  I have to be there at 8:30 in the morning for 8 wonderful hours hook to a IV but all I can say is YES FINALLY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forth and final)  Love ya all

Licks and nibbles, Dawn

Miss Sierra, friends and her puppy


I got this and wanted all my family and friends to see how remarkable Sierra is.  She went to texas and the doctor is hopeful the swelling will go down and he increased her new medicine.
So I believe in this man, this doctor that he would never in a million years put Sierra in harms way.

As you see her rehab is working, she still gets tired and has to still use her wheel chair but she is very very determined to walk again and get home to her family and her puppy.  I am also very proud of my daughter for giving Sierra the faith to believe she can do anything and not to let anything or anyone tell her different.  So here is my little doll doing the most remarkable thing being a little girl =)

I am now a twitter


I have my very own TWITTER.  It is actually fun and you can follow tons of interesting people.

I have found a lot of people TWITTER.  So I ask you do you TWITTER?

http://twitter.com/Myschief




Cya all when I get wake up, have a wonderful day.

licks and nibbles, Dawn


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Another stumbling block

Today I received a phone call from my Doctor about my infusions.  I spent the day feeling totally sorry for myself and having a big huge PITY ME party.  Then I got the pictures of Sierra during her hospital stay and realize this kid is amazing she has battled so much in her young life and lets nothing get her down,  She just keeps coming back like the ever ready bunny fully charged and ready to take the world on.  And here I was crying like a baby because my infusion got canceled again and I felt at ropes end.  But like I said her picture woke me up and made me realize if I could be 1/4 as strong as she is this is just another stumbling block and I can get by it.

All I was told was I needed to see the Doctor first and he would discuss with me what was going on.  I know he is ordering new blood work and his nurse gave me a hint he found something off in my last set that he had missed.  So he canceled the infusion for the 12th till I see him.  So for now the pity party is over and I am going to take a much needed lesson from a little girl that can conquer the world and make people smile just by seeing her smile.

Love and hugs, Dawn

Pictures of Sierra and more






Today I got some pictures of Miss Sierra while she was in the hospital for her brain surgeries and also a picture of her holding her new adorable Boston Terrier which was a wonderful gift.  The first picture is of her and her new puppy.  The other three are of her stay at Cook's Children Hospital in Texas during her brain surgeries.   The one where she is smiling and looking a little loopy is because she is.  The others are after the surgeries and the machines she was connected too.  Do you not just love her new white hat, thank goodness they did not completely shave her head or we would still be hearing about it.  

The reason I am posting the pictures is because I want family and friends to see how remarkable she is.  

Friday, May 1, 2009

Writing Again

I am writing again.  For a long time I had completely stopped, my real life was making me so unhappy that I turned to my game and nothing else.  But the other night I found I could not sleep because the pain was unbearable and I flat refused to take yet another pain medicine.  I found myself pulling up my notes, and my first draft of my writing and found myself working on the second draft with the needed corrections.  Next thing I knew it was 7 am in the morning and I had worked out almost 2 chapters and I had totally forgotten about the pain.  It felt good.  So maybe by the end of this year I will actually finally have a book on the shelves in many book stores.

I have been approached about writing a romance novel but not sure yet.  I love writing for children.  When Sierra was younger and she would be sick I would sit and rock her and make up stories for her to help her forget she was sick or hurting.  The one I am working on now is for her.  I started wanting the main child in the story to be a little boy named Michael,but got talked into making the child a little girl and I changed the entire part and the child went from being Michael to Khloe.

nibbles and licks, Dawn

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Rough Day, awful year


Today has been a rough day for me.  I have been bursting into tears every time I turn around. I have never felt this low as I do right at this moment.  This year has sucked, and it is only April.

I have held this in so long, but right now I need to let it out if I am to feel better.  I lost someone who is very dear to me, someone who was so much more then a friend.  I believed our friendship was strong and that we were there for one another through good times and bad.  Then suddenly I realized that it was possibly only one of us that felt that way and it shattered me.  The one person I counted on was no longer there.  No this person did not pass away, but it hurts just as bad since she turned her back on me and our friendship.  I find myself often reaching for the phone and think " I need to tell......" and I realize she is not there for me anymore.

The male that came between us is now trying to be friends with me again in my game I play.  Part of me wants to tell him off and ask him what game is he playing now, why the so nice, so sweet so caring act.  And another part of me wants to try and understand why I lost my friend over this man.  I want to ask was he really worth walking away from a 10 year friendship, was he so wonderful and amazing that you had to hurt me so deeply, was I ever really your friend?

Then I am dealing with being in Charleston and away from family, my granddaughter is going through a hard time right now with health issues and I feel so far away.  I miss my family with each and every breath I take, to the point I am miserable.  I am dealing with my own health issues, I feel like I am at the end of a very dark tunnel and there is no light at the end.

There are times I want to just shake my husband and say "hey I am here, NOTICE ME." But he goes to work, calls to check on me laughing and joking, then he comes home at the end of the day and he is cranky and mean and hurtful.  He goes into the office puts on headset and turns his music up and turns me off.  I am home all day by myself with 3 dogs that I hate, and at night I am alone with the man I gave everything up for and he ignores me and I again wonder why.

Am I such a bad person that people thinks it is okay to hurt me, shut me out or turn their back on.  I wonder why do I try so hard to make things work when nobody else cares, why should I care when they don't?

Living with a disease that you know is killing you is not a easy thing,  You wake up every morning thinking this could be my last day.  You shake off the bad thoughts and you smile and tell yourself in a strong voice " I will not let you beat me."  But when the people you love and care about walk away and leave you totally alone you find yourself whispering, "Go ahead beat me I just do not care anymore."  You feel all the fight being sucked out of you.  And you cry alone.

I try saying to myself shake it off, forget them, you have yourself to think of, you have to beat this God awful illness.  You stubbornly wipe the tears away and you say in a strong voice, "I will not let you beat me, I can do it alone!"


Thursday, April 23, 2009

Sierra is home


Sierra arrived home this afternoon.  She will probably begin rehab next week.  Kaleb was a little frighten and worried about her being in her wheelchair.  Shae quickly explained it was only going to be for a short time.  

My happiness about Sierra returning home and on the road to recovery was dampened by the news I received about my infusions.  My insurance once again is refusing to pay the bill and the wonderful company that was covering it needs to re qualify me which can take up to 3 to 6 months.  Which means no lupus drugs except for my methotrexate, which is such a joy to take.  I went through my feel sorry for me time and now I just have to accept it.  I think I am feeling numb.

Well I am taking myself off to bed.  Tomorrow will be a brighter day..... unless it rains =P

Licks and nibbles, Dawn


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

OOPS forgot something

Google is being wonderful placing ads about children and seizure, disability and my lupus.  I am asking if you are reading my blog could you please click on these ads, I do not want to lose them.   They are very helpful for people that do not understand Lupus, seizure, even disability.  Not all the ads are trying to get you to buy something.  Some of them are information about what is important to me.  So please take the time and click.

Thank you, Dawn

Sierra, Shae and other interesting things

Sierra breezed through todays surgery to remove the grids, the MRI following the surgery took forever and to add more to the mix she is now running a pretty high fever but no one can answer why.  
I talked to Shae today and got to see Sierra on the webcam, she looked so wonderful all I could do was think about how much I wanted to hug her.  The doctors hinted that is the fever breaks Sierra could be released within a day or two.  Would it be asking too much for NOW.  I know Shae would not argue with me on that one.  But we will see.  
Yesterday all this finally took a toll on me and I simply crashed and burned.  I laid down yesterday about 4 pm and slept right up to almost 3 pm today.  I should say monday, because right now it is Tuesday early morning.  I am hoping to hear some word on my infusions but once Sierra is home and recovering I think the stress level will go down for me and maybe my blood work will not be so crappy and the infusion will be scheduled.  Well I am hoping anyways.
I am not going to head to bed, actually feeling tired so I am going to do what I am suppose to do and that is to sleep as long as possible.

Licks and Nibbles, Dawn

Friday, April 17, 2009

Long day

Sierra was taken into surgery this morning at about 8:30 am her time.  She is out and on her way to ICU and she is feisty as ever.  She is demanding water.  The Doctors removed a small portion of her brain which on Sierra's blog it goes into detail better.  After all is said and done she is doing wonderfully.  They replace 3 small grids and Shae said if she has no seizures over the weekend they will go back in and remove them and she will be on her road to coming to home soon.
I am so emotional right now I do not know whether to laugh, cry or both.  It had been such a long road for Sierra and Shae this time around, and a hard one.  But they are going to make it, I know that now with all my heart.  I know I keep saying how proud I am of Shae and I realized there is no words to even describe how much I love her and am so very proud of her and how she has handled this all.  Even during her darkest hours there she stayed strong for Sierra and made sure her daughter was number 1.   
Everyday my daughter deals with a lot, being a mom of not one handicapped child but two.  I never gave her the credit she deserved but now I am.  I love you Shae and I am so so very proud to call you my daughter.

Love your mom

Emotional few days



It has been a emotional couple of days.  Up and down with Sierra's hospital stay.  I have to give Shae a lot of credit, how she is staying so strong during this is amazing.  I am sure if you are following  Sierra's blog you know what kind of roller coaster it has been for all of us but mainly Shae because she is dealing with this alone in Texas.  Yes she has our support and all the well wishes still she is the one that is alone there with Sierra.  She has no one close to actually hug and have a shoulder to cry on.  But even alone she is doing an amazing job.  I just want everyone to know I am so proud of her, for being strong for her daughter, to be her daughter's voice and not take any BS from anyone including the staff of the hospital.

Hugs and kisses to my two girls, I love you both.

Dawn

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

up date on Sierra

For those that have not gone to the site Shae has set up for Sierra, I want to let you know what is going on with her.  First I got to see her on the web cam but it is not anywhere near to me wishing I was still there.  I was chatting with Shae when the EEG tech was doing test on Sierra needless to say our little redhead was showing her true colors, she was not pleased about him or his waking her up.  She is still not eating very much or drinking, she is running a fever which they  are watching carefully.  She is on the seizure ward, Shae knows what it is called better then me.
If you have not been to the site Shae set up for friends and family to give Sierra wishful thoughts I do wish you would go there now and post a little something for her, she is really down right now and I know friends and family leaving their messages means a lot to her.  She misses her brother and wanted him to stay but Zack and him went back to Norman.  So Shae is there dealing with this alone and I am sure the postings are helping her also.  

Hugs and Kisses, Dawn

Monday, April 13, 2009

Quick update on Sierra

Sierra is on her way to ICU, they placed the grids and placed her on a ventilator to help her breath.  Now the waiting game begins.  They will be watching her for seizure activity.  If things go as planned they will go back in on friday and remove the grids and the part of her brain the seizures this time are coming from.  Again if you want to know more please go to the caring bridge site where Shae is keeping everyone updated.  I know she told me a lot but once I heard she was doing ok and heading to ICU I lost it and the rest of the phone call was kinda of a emotional relief for me.  Just knowing Sierra made it through this one, just knowing Shae has Zack there and Kaleb and that she is not alone.   I am so proud of Shae she is amazing.

Hugs and kisses, Dawn

Saturday, April 11, 2009

More sad news

I found out last night that someone who once was someone I thought of as my best friend lost a family member.  I did not know how to reach out to her other then here.  In the past when I tried to mend the bridges between us, I kept getting shot down or she came at it half heartily.   No matter what happened I just want her to know I am sorry about her Uncle's passing.  And that my prayers are with her and her family in this sad time.  

Hugs and Kisses. Dawn

Cooke's Children hospital


Sierra entered the hospital yesterday and on Monday morning at 7:30 she will go in for the first surgery scheduled.  This is the one to put the grids in.  Shae has set up a blog for Sierra and how she is doing.  Here is the link:    http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sierragodwin.           You are welcomed to post on that site and let Sierra and Shae know you are there.  Here is Sierra's new pretty hair cut she got to make her hair shorter and easier to manage for the surgeries.

Friday, April 10, 2009

This blog was meant for



This blog started out with me talking about playing wow and now suddenly it has rolled into my family, my friends and my battle with lupus.  World of warcraft has suddenly taken a back seat.  
Talking about my babies makes me feel closer to them, like they are here in my home in South Carolina and not so far away in Oklahoma.  I feel I am missing so much not being there watching them grow into young adults.  One minute Sierra and Kaleb were little kids that fought all the time, Kaleb turns 7 this year and I have missed all his birthdays since he was 2.  Sierra will be 11 and growing up so quickly.  Memphis left South Carolina before he turned two and I have never held Keegen.  My daughter Shae is getting married again soon and her two kids will turn into a ready made family of five.  So I will be opening my arms to welcome my new son in law Zack and his three wonderful adorable children.  Sierra had always been the only little girl now she is the oldest girl with soon to be 2 new little sisters that adore her, and Kaleb is getting a little brother that all boys want.  I am so proud of my daughter she has finally found someone that makes her truly happy and accepts her two wonderful children with their disabilities.  Though her and I have had many many screaming matches we both always agreed on one thing, Sierra and Kaleb deserved to be treated like any other child in the world and not to let their disabilities stop them from doing anything they wanted.  I love all my grandchildren and my son and daughter..... I miss them and their families with all my heart but we all know my best place to be is here in Charleston where I have the best doctors taking care of me.  So no matter how far away from me they are, they are always in my heart and on my mind.
The pictures this time around are of Shae's new little family.  All five of her babies.  And of course a close up of the 3 little princesses.

Licks and nibbles, Dawn

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

No infusion



Well yesterday was suppose to be my day of my long await infusion.  Notice the key words SUPPOSE TO BE........ yes you are correct it did not take place.  It is another waiting game.  Now the reason for this is because my numbers were shakey at best but not in the range for me to receive my infusion so once again it is a waiting game.  I spent the day yesterday in tears, it was very emotional for me, my emotions were already on a roller coaster because of whether my kidneys were behaving, the pain I have been in due to unstable weather and Sierra facing once again more brain surgeries and me not being able to be with her.  So I ended up being a flood of raw emotions yesterday.  Anything I said or did would tail spin me, anything said to me would tail spin me.  But I did sleep last night and got the much needed rest that is being harped at me about.  The sleeping medicine worked, granted I am not overly thrilled with taking yet another medication but I will do whatever it takes to get my infusions and hopefully get my lupus into a remission.
The highlight of my evening was a very sweet surprise from my daughter, she called me and told me to get on my yahoo messenger she had a surprise for me.  I about cried, there was my sweet Sierra and Kaleb and my daughter's soon to be three wonderful adorable step children.  They were all blowing kisses for me and waving.  I am going to ask her to get a picture of all five of them so I can post it here.
Now the worried news, as not many knows my son is also dealing with having lupus, he is 30 years old and a loving father and husband and dealing with this god awful illness.  He is now possibly facing one of the wonderful drawbacks of this illness, he has been having serious stomach pain and will be seeing a specialist to determine what it is.  Any extra illness can spiral a lupus patient at any given moment, so naturally I am concerned and worried.
And speaking of Matthew and Tiff here are some pictures of their two little joys, Memphis and Keegen.  
Now I am off to play in my wonderful world of wow.......  Butterscotch will be level 80 today =)

licks and nibbles, Dawn

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Doctor's visit


Well I got my blood work done and now we wait.  Anyone ever said waiting wasn't hell lied to you.  We have decided to have the low dose chemo whether my kidneys are acting up or not, at this time this experimental drug is kinda the end of the road unless some smart young doctor out there figures something out real quick.  There is a lot of mix feelings about this drug, it still is not completely approved by the FDA for lupus usage yet.  It is known as unlabeled for lupus, thank god for small bills that are passed.  The wonderful people of the United States government passed a bill saying insurance companies has to cover unlabeled drugs for lupus usage.  So now come April 7th I get to be hooked for 5 hours this drug and hopefully this time it works.  And in the mean time I was put on yet another drug, seems I am not getting enough rest or sleep, with no immune system I am required more rest and sleep then the rest of the world so my wonderful doctor put me on a new drug to help me do this.  Now if we can find a way to lower my stress level maybe there would be less flare ups.  One could only hope.
Ok enough with the boo who of my lupus and everything, one has to stay positive.  
Please keep clicking on the wonderful ads they change around every few days.  Lupus is a big part of my life and a part I would like my friends and family to understand.  Please know lupus is Not my life, my family and friends are =)  here is a picture of my Sierra's adorable little brother Kaleb , my grand children are a very large part of my life.


Licks and nibbles and on with WOW,  Dawn

Monday, March 30, 2009

about the ads

Just a quick note, I am honored to have Google place ads on my blog, what is even more honoring is that they are ads to do with lupus.  So please if you visit this site I would love if you would click on these sites and check them out.  I have had lupus for 11 years now and any site about lupus or disability is very important to me.  Stem cell research is even more important because I and many others are hoping to find a cure for lupus or a way to slow it down so it does not attack our major organs.  Lupus is not a people friendly disease, it is your own cells and tissues attacking your new cells and tissues and soon taking over attacking organs.  The organ that is being attack is my kidneys......I have already gone into total renal failure once and luckily got to the hospital fast enough.  But the damage is done now so everything in my life has to be kidney friendly.  So please use this ads and learn more about lupus and about stem cell research.

Licks and nibbles, Dawn

Friday, March 27, 2009

Dealing with real life, not a WOW moment


Yesterday my daughter called and gave me one of those phone calls a grandparent does not look forward too.  It seems on April 10th my daughter and her little Sierra are heading to Cooke's Children  Hospital once again.  Sierra will be admitting into the hospital on the 10th and on the 13th she will once again go through brain surgery, grids will be places and test ran, on the 17th of April they will go back in remove the grid and remove another piece of her brain that they call ground beef that they once again feel her seizures are starting.  This will be very hard on me, since once again my health is not allowing me to travel and be with them.  It kills me knowing that once again Shae is having to deal with this alone in a place several hours from family and friends.  I called my Doctor today and asked could I go and he said it was not safe for me to be around a children's hospital with no immune system and that on the 7th of April I will undergo 5 hours of my low dose chemo and than again 2 weeks from that date for another 4 hours.  During this time I am hoping all my family and friends are praying that once again Sierra will bounce through these surgeries.  I will try to keep everyone updated on this and how Sierra is doing.  The adorable little red head is Sierra taken a few months ago.

licks and nibbles, Dawn

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Crappy day again


I am so ready for this rituxan to start again but now my doctor's partner is sticking his nose in and I have to have blood work and test done before starting it since no blood work has been done in 3 months.  So now I have to get an appointment for the blood work and wait on the results before I can even sit up the appointment for the infusion.  I want to scream, I am so sick of being locked in this damn house and not being allowed out.  Anyways I have vented now I am going to head to bed before Lou wakes up and realize I have been up all night and have him tattle on me to Dr Niemer.  He loves to tattle.

This picture is a new one Lou took today of my little Butterscotch and her little Gorilla Banana

licks and nibbles, Dawn

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Been feeling a little under the weather

The shot this pass friday did a total number on me.  I have spent the entire weekend in bed trying to not feel so bad.  I actually slept from saturday night to this morning with getting up long enough to take my meds and potty.  Been up now a few hours but feeling a little tired so going to follow my doctors orders and head back to bed and rest.  Hope to catch you all a little later...

Licks and nibbles Dawn

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Got to Love Methotrexate


My weekly shot of Metho took a toll on me the last couple of days, so I was lagging in posting.  Sad thing is tomorrow I get another one.  But this is a must take in order to get my rituxan infusion.  Which is finally approved and I am starting it again.  I feel like I have been waiting forever to get this started again.  I am also a little scared because the last time I got sick directly after the second infusion and it took a toll on my kidneys again.  I know the goal is for me to not get sick and this time the infusion be a cake walk.  So I am hoping all this not around people and stay healthy program I am on works and we have the two infusions and go from there.  If it works this can easily put me in remission and I go to two infusion every six months, than hopefully two infusions once a year but it all stems on me not getting sick between now and infusion day.  Also to prepare myself for the infusion and the nasty side effects, not to mention the sitting for 8 hours for the infusion, but in the long run it is all very worth it to me.  So tomorrow I get my weekly shot and I rest between now and April 7th as much as possible.  For those that do not know rituxan is a low dose form of chemo, to go in and destroy the bad cells and tissues that are attacking what healthy ones my body is making and right now my kidneys are not making a whole lot of new red blood cells.  It is will go in and kill these cells giving my body a chance to make new ones and knock my autoimmune system into trying to work probably, yes it means killing off my immune system but it is the last resort for me, the other medicines for my lupus is no longer working and the lupus is taking its toll on my kidneys and tissues.  So silly as it seems killing off my immune system is the only way to beat this damn disease and give my kidneys a chance to heal a little.
So now I am sitting here waiting for the call back to give me the time for the 7th of April what time I have to be there in the morning and be hooked up to my little beeping machine for 8 hours than 2 weeks later I return and get another 6 to 8 hours of infusion than we wait on blood work and test to see if it is doing the job and decide where to go from there.
I am so trying to stay upbeat about the whole thing but I would be lying if I said I was not worried.................

Posting more later hopefully..........

licks and nibbles, Dawn

Monday, March 16, 2009

Finally in a Fun Guild


I finally put my little toons in a fun guild today.  I left the Golden Elms and all it's drama behind me.  I went to a friends guild who had also been in the elms and decided she did not like the drama there as well.  So I am now in a real cool guild, they actually play to have fun, no one cares about DPS, no one cares about gear, they all just like playing and having fun.   I am hoping a few of my friends and family will come with me but if they don't that is cool also because they can still run with us.

Well I am off to bed now been up all night playing, so bad I am.

Licks and nibbles, Dawn

Friday, March 13, 2009

Got A wonderful surprised today



I got a wonderful surprise today.  I got a email from a dear sweet friend I have not talked to in a long time.  My little Sierra loves her dearly even calls her Jewels because Julie is a very rare jewel.  When Sierra was going through all her brain surgeries when she was barely 2 years old Julie gave up everything to come be with her.  She knew money would be tough for us because we were taking time off to be with Sierra in the hospital so the Pizza Hut she worked for allowed her to get donations for us, I truly have no idea what I would not have done.  So I am so happy I got a email from her and natural I sent her one back catching up with her about what we have missed. 
So my wonderful Blog is doing what I had hoped it would do bring family and friends close again.
Julie thank you for being the wonderful Jewel you are.......

Licks and nibbles, Dawn

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I think I have the hang of it FINALLY


Ok after taking a crash course in Greek I am now able to work this blog.....  Welcome Lou and Rick and I hope others will follow.  My family and friends are slow at responding or even making comments.  They are hardly shy so no telling why they have not said hello or anything.  But still thank you for joining my little blog spot.

All I did today was play Wow, yes I have an exciting life.....  But we have been waiting for my rhuemy to call and set up my low dose chemo treatments but so far between the FDA and my insurance company and the company that makes the drug I need is once again at a tug of war with me being dragged back and forth in the puddle of mud.   

I am still on house arrest, no I did not break the law but right now I have no immune system and if I catch even a cold it would stop me from beginning my infusions, so I stay home and think of ways to set this house on fire..... Can we say CABIN FEVER......  Did I mention we have 3 dogs , they get out more than I do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Think of that one.

Well hopefully more of my family and friends will trip on in here and join in on the fun.

Take care, cya soon and stay safe

Licks and nibbles, Dawn

Ok I so feel Blonde tonight


I am still trying to figure this wild place out.....   Needless to say you need a degree in computers and website building and can read..... GREEK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So this my friends is a test

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Getting to know me


I want to welcome those that come here and get to know me.  I am hoping all my friends and family will follow my journey and enjoy life like I do.  

I love playing World of Warcraft as does my husband, my kids and a great deal of my friends.
I play on Lightbringer server and my two favorite toons are Caress my Night Elf beastmaster hunter and Butterscotch my little yellow haired gnome frost mage.

I will have good days and bad days simply because I am dealing with having lupus.  But for my first blog I do not want to dwell on that side of me.  I much rather deal with my fun side of me.

Take care and come see me again.

Licks and nibbles, Dawn